Most of us want to master the key to success, as we think it might bring us happiness. But there is a lot more to happiness than just becoming rich, powerful and famous, says Prof Raj Raghunathan.
Raj is a Zale Centennial Professor of Business at the McCombs School of Business at The University of Texas at Austin. At the Cafemutual Confluence 2020 Investment Marathon, Raj said that there is a common misconception that happiness comes as a result of success. In fact, if people are not careful enough then the very parameters that we perceive as success - such as money, power and being famous - can come in the way of happiness. Here is how:
#1 Chasing superiority
Chasing superiority here means comparing ourselves with others on dimensions like wealth, power, beauty and achievements. If we do this, it will lead to happiness when we do well in a particular field or situation. However, eventually, there will be situations in which others will be more wealthy, powerful and beautiful. This will only lead to disappointment.
Solution
Instead of chasing superiority, we should get involved in an activity that makes us lose track of time. Such activities help us grow and learn.
Raj suggests a couple of books in this regard. One is Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth and second is Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise by K. Anders Ericsson.
#2 De prioritizing relationship
Success brings a lot of adulation, pats on back, positive strokes and as a result many start taking relationships for granted. They forget the need to have true relationships in life to be happy.
Solution
Instead of de-prioritizing relationships, try to re prioritize it. One way to do this is to take at least two vacations in a year. One with family and one with a close group of friends. To remain committed to this, put this on your calendar at the beginning of the year rather than waiting until the last minute.
Also, every week, spend time with family and close friends. It can be small activities like playing tennis, catching up over drinks, going for a walk and so on.
#3 Becoming overly control seeking
When success comes, many think that everything will take place exactly the way they want it to be. But if we seek happiness in these things, we are setting ourselves up for a lot of unhappiness.
Solution
Control is important but we cannot control everything. Therefore, it is important to focus on our own mind, feelings etc. Do not seek control on external factors such as other's conduct. The idea should be to stay contended even if not happy.
In this regard, practice emotional regulation tactics and mindfulness meditations. These things will be helpful in getting increasingly better at seeking internal control.
To understand about money, happiness and success, read Raj's book ‘If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Happy?’
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